The Best Of Times, And The Worst Of Times

This ASR was truly the best of times, and the worst of times. Let's take a quick look at the happenings of the weekend, through the eyes and experiences of one single, solitary roving Silverfish reporter. Other people's stories, of course, might be quite different. It's really all about where you're at, and when, when covering the trade show. Sometimes, you're at the right place, at the right time. And, sometimes, you're not.

Thursday: The Ramp-Up.

I flew in early Thursday morning, and went straight to the show. That's me, alright: All Work, All The Time. Upon my arrival, I usually take a couple of hours to wander about, and just get my bearings. ASR can be really sort of overwhelming. This time was no different.   Right away, I noticed a few things that stuck out like sore thumbs:   - This show was heavily, heavily dominated by surf, shoe, and soft goods companies. They took up about 80% of the floor, at least. At times, it felt like, that's all there were.

- This show was also the smallest show I've ever experienced, and;   - There were several "notable" companies NOT in attendance. A few off the top of my head were: Dwindle Distribution (Enjoi, Darkstar, World Industries, Blind, etc), Tum Yeto (Foundation, Toy Machine, Deathbox), Syndrome (Plan B, Silver Trucks, etc). I never did see a Gravity booth, either, come to think of it. And, a few other companies of interest- Stereo being one- opted to do the Agenda show across town, instead. Which, I never go to. Because, I just don't do anything "Agenda" at all, either literally, or figuratively.   The foot traffic on the floor was "lighter" than I've ever experienced. Usually, getting around through the throngs of humanity can be maddening, at best. This year, I casually strolled from meeting to meeting with hardly a care in the world. I was seldom late for one. That speaks volumes, right there.

The "Thing Of The Day" I had to track down on Thursday, straightaway, was the "IASC Hardgoods Report", also known as "The Blank Initiative". It took me a couple of hours to figure out where they were, and who I had to talk to get it. Because I was wearing my ‘Fish badge, I had it, and an offer to join IASC, in hand fairly quickly. Score...!

This is where "The Worst Of Times" stuff comes into play. Not only were there prominent mfgrs missing.... but, there was drama and uncertainty in the air aplenty. There's something goin' on over there in the “Street Market”, and I suspect that it's causing some folks a lot of sleepless nights these days. Market shares are down, profits are falling, and by Gawd, something must be done. And, fast. Before street companies start falling off the wagon en masse. "The Blank Initiative" was the agreed-upon "first shot" in the upcoming "War On The Skate Retailer", and I'll tell ya, no one was particularly happy about the way the battle lines were sizing up this weekend. Except for a few notables that- quite literally- fell over themselves, laughing at the 30-something-page, IASC-Sponsored booklet that outlined the finer points of "The Blank Initiative".

The Funnest Two Hours You'll Ever Have.

Thursday night was the Silverfish-hosted Parking Garage Bomb. This was truly the must-go event of the weekend. If only because… I missed it last year. And, I only heard about my utter retardation for at least four months afterward, for having flaked out so horridly. WTF........?!  So, at 9:30 PM sharp, I duly arrived at the garage to be bombed. EBasil was there, with quite the quiver. There were at least 10 other people in attendance when I arrived, as well. A very punctual bunch of guys, I must say. Not too long after, the crowd swelled to, oh, maybe 40 guys and a few women or so. A pretty good turnout, indeed.

The garage is baby-bottom smooth, fast as hell, and totally dark for the first floor and a half of the run. There are also large, prominent concrete posts all over the place. This does not bode so well for old guys with questionable night-vision skills. Like Me.  

However: I had never ridden a purpose-built speedboard in my life previous to Thursday night, either. Once you get on one, and try it out, you immediately see the benefits of such specialized equipment. Even a relative newb like Me can hop on one, first run, and do fairly well. And, with a lot of comfort and confidence, to boot. I rode Wefunks, Longboard Larrys, Raynes, EB’s Big Red X and quite a few others with wild and carefree abandon. Once [Michael] Brooke showed up, I even took to giving him a to-the-first-turn head start, before chasing his ass down to the elevator. I managed to tail EBasil down a couple of runs, as well. Not out of competitiveness, and certainly not because I have some sort of God-given talent or anything. Just because, the products that we were riding allowed me to do it, and do it competently, and in control. So, the way I see it, the kudos for my "stunning" performance should go straight to the longboard makers.  All in all, it was the most fun I've had in quite some time, and EBasil gets all the love for being kind enough to invite me along for the ride.

Friday: Straight Chaos.

Friday was the "busy day".... or, put another way, "the show".

I don't remember Friday very well at all. Operating on 3 hours of sleep over 2 nights will do that to a man, eventually. Plus, it seemed like meeting after meeting, fire after fire. There wasn't a whole lot of order to any of it. Just, a lot of loud talking.

The Cool Crowd Theory.

The night before I flew out for the show, I had an epiphany of sorts. I had only been asleep for an hour (the only hour of sleep I'd get, as it turned out), when I woke up, wide awake, with this "Cool Crowd" idea whizzing through my head. It's a good one. Check it out:

It's 1965. The era of the clay-wheeled, vertically-laminated "sidewalk surfer". The hot guys are dudes like Danny Bearer, and The Hilton Brothers. A few years later (the early '70s, to be exact), a whole new generation of kids pops up, with new technology in hand (In this case, the Urethane wheel), a whole new attitude (The Dogtown vibe), and basically gives Danny Bearer and friends "The Giant Finger". And, they re-write the rules of skateboarding.... literally, from the ground up.

Following the Dogtown movement, we got a new generation of kids (Tony Hawk, Christian Hosoi, etc) in the '80s, giving all of their immediate predecessors "The Giant Finger" that re-wrote the rules once again. Then, in the early '90s, a whole generation of kids gave vert skating "The Giant Finger", and re-wrote the rules one more time. It's always the same, isn't it? A younger, more intrepid generation giving their elders The Giant Finger every ten years or so.....?

Not this time.

In the Current Era, the "New Kids".... or, "The Cool Crowd" that is currently re-writing "the rules" of skateboarding... isn’t kids at all. They're dudes that are ten years- in some cases, even more- my seniors. "The Cool Crowd" is 30- and 40-somethings. Not kids. For maybe, the first time ever.

I ran this theory by quite a few folks at ASR, just to be sure I wasn't trippin'. Most of the guys I ran it by said something like, "Hey! That's pretty insightful!" Except for Brooke. Being the "Ringleader of the Cool Club" isn't really his bag. And, he's far too modest for it, anyway. I think all he said was something like "Amazing!” Because, that's what he says half the time, anyway, no matter what you're talking to him about.....

In my travels around ASR, I met a lot of "The Cool Club". Because, "The Cool Club" was out this year, and in force. Among them were Tony Alva, Wally Inouye, Dale Smith, Bruce Logan, Dennis Martinez, The Illustrious Mr. Bennett, Mark Gonzales, Dave Hackett, Tony Magnusson, Lance Mountain, Tom Knox, and Jim Gray.

Tom and Jim get extra credit, I must add, for holding down the frequent Mini-Ramp sessions at the far end of the show area. Tom is skating entirely too good these days. And, I'm still not sure what right Jim Gray has to still be doing backside disaster reverts at 45 years old. That bastard.........!

The guy that had the best uber-style of the show wasn't one of the New Generation of Pro Skateboarders, either. It was this little, pint-sized fella that sorta casually swaggered in on Friday, that was exuding some sort of Midwestern Pimp steez, and/or a guy that wouldn't look out of place standing in for either Mick Fleetwood or Lindsay Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac. When I first saw this dude, I was like, "Oh, shit. This guy's an f'n heavyweight, fersure". Turns out, it's Buddy Carr of Tracker Trucks. Nicest guy in the world, I might add.

And then, we have The Punkest Guy of the show award going to our own EBasil. A guy that only stands about 7 feet tall, if you don't know this already. On Friday, he was singled out by Mr. Security Guard for the high sin of rolling up to the front door on..... a skateboard! Just like every other kid in the world was doing, I might add. Me included. This even makes sense, being that it’s a skateboard trade show and all. So, why Mr. Basil was the poor bloke singled out for a verbal lashing is way, waaaaay beyond me.......

So. Mr. Security Guard approaches Mr. Bennett, Brian Bennett, myself, and Basil, and immediately cops an outsized attitude towards Basil. "Outsized" because, Mr. Security was only about 5 feet tall, and shaped almost exactly like a donut hole. Clearly, no physical match for the Goliath that is Erik Basil.

Mr. Security Guard: "Hey, you're outta here. You're Gone. Right now! Let's go, move it along...."

Mr. Basil: "Oh, I am? Who says?"

"I says! Let's go!!"

"I don't think so, there, buddy. How about, you move along?!"

Stare down occurs. Mr. Security tries in vain to pump his chest out. At least, halfway to his belly or so.

"Didn't you hear me? I said, you're gone!"

"No, I'm not. You're done, get out of here.....!"

Mr. Guard gets on his little radio. "Ten-niner-five, I need backup........"

I'm thinkin' to myself, "Oh, man, isn't that the understatement of the century, right there......"

Showdown continues. "Why aren't you listening to me?! You're gone!!"

"Because, I don't have to. That's why. You're the gone one, bubba..."

"Well, in that case, I'm just gonna hafta..................."

"Gonna hafta what?! What are you gonna do about it.............?!?!"

Security Guard: 5 feet round donut. Basil: 7 feet huge Goliath. Folks, I do say, I think we have a winner.................

So, lo and behold, the "backup" never did arrive. The guard was [obviously] not very successful in moving Mr. Basil anywhere at all. Finally, after about three minutes of us having to listen to this little boob interrupting our conversation with his constant "Let's Go! You're Outta Here!" bullshit, we all decide to move exactly twenty feet down the hallway to meet someone else. Mr. Guard is all "Yeah, that's right. You heard me, alright! You're outta here!". It was pretty hysterical, in a really pathetic sort of way. Because, I'm almost sure that "20 feet down the hall" wasn't what he was really goin' for, here.

The rest of the ASR staff, however, was quite kind, very patient, and totally went out of their way to be genuinely helpful as often as they possibly could. I felt the love, and I'm grateful to a lot of them for helping me with directions around the show, tracking down water fountains, bathrooms, swag-bags, and such. The Press Room was always stocked every morning with tasty muffins, pastries, bagels, and juices, which was a much-appreciated perk. I felt that I needed to make that clear, because one shithead Mini-Me security guard with a Napoleon complex does not- and, I mean, does not- represent the entire staff. He's strictly, the exception. Not, the rule.

Girls, Girls, Girls.

Oh, yeah. ASR is also the gathering of some of the most top-heavy, well-endowed, made-up, scantily-dressed, man-magnet females on the entire planet. Not really a bonus for me, being in the committed, loving, and happy relationship and all. But, for you, Mr. Single Swinger? This just might be the place to be.

New Products

EBasil will surely have pics of all of these, as he only took about 3,000 photos a day with his high-speed digital camera.

This ASR was the first time I got to see the Hamboards in person.... and, just the sight of a 7-foot-plus longboard is impressive in itself. Watching the Hamborg kids out front of the show, cutting tight turns on these monsters is another sight in itself. I never did try one, out of fear of getting the Basil Treatment from security. But, I would have given my left leg to experience these firsthand. Once you see them in person, and in action, their rather intimidating $400 price tag becomes a lot less intimidating. The fact that they now have fully routed rails and deep, functional wheel wells makes them even more appealing.

Alpha has a couple of neat new products on the market. One is a solid little skate tool that fits comfortably in your pocket, and has a bonus key ring attachment. The other is a skateboard truck that has set screws in the hangar yoke that can be adjusted to any setting you like..... the purpose of them being, to create internal "stops" that keep the truck from over-pivoting, eliminating wheel bite entirely. I'll be trying these out quite soon, so watch for a full-length review a little later.

Plank Skateboards is a start-up company that is responsible for some of the most beautiful, period-correct, hand-laid skateboards I have seen in quite a while. They feature exotic hardwoods, both horizontally and vertically laminated, and smooth rockers for that true-surfboard look and feel. Each one is truly a work of art.   Sire Boarding Company is making some visually commanding longboards these days, with some very interesting ways of re-inventing the "typical" longboard aesthetic.   Black Label/Emergency had a brand-new Jeff Grosso model on display that I can't wait to get my grubby hands on.   Honey Longboards is another relatively new company in the marketplace, this is making very beautiful, extremely functional longboards. These come in a wide variety of sizes, with various amounts of camber, concave, and kick tail. Whatever sort of longboarding you're into, there's a very beautiful, handmade Honey out there just for you.   But, the two biggest surprises of the show, for me, were Soul Ryde Longboards, and Grand Prix skate wheels.

Soul Ryde is owned by two really nice, very humble brothers named Michael and Brian Salmon. I'd never heard of these guys until I met them at Basil's parking garage bomb. I didn't even realize, at first, that they were actually exhibitors at the trade show; I just thought they were some kids that showed up for a good roll with "Da Boyz". Once I got clued in, and I found out where they were, I was totally beat down with the most impressive eye-candy-skateboards that you or I will ever see. These boards are amazing. Hand-crafted out of extremely rare hardwoods- some featuring wood inlays a-la Chiller Decks- they are them laser-engraved with extremely intricate, finely detailed wood burn graphics. And, these boards- for the fine-art pieces that they really are- have the bonus of being very, very modestly priced. How they do it all, I really can't figure out. But, they do it. And, they are enthusiastic about being able to do it. They are humble, even-keeled, resourceful, and intelligent kids. I'm glad I got to meet them, and see their work.

Grand Prix Skate wheels are another deal altogether. These, I just caught out of the corner of my eye, as I was heading out for a routine smoke break. Once I spotted them, I stopped dead in my tracks, and swooped over for a closer look. These wheels take a little explaining- but, it'll be worth it. Trust me on this. The wheels are three-piece assemblies. Two of the pieces are removable, replaceable, and customizable anodized aluminum hubs. Each wheel requires two hubs- one on each side of the wheel. One bearing fits into each hub. And, a third bearing fits between the hubs.... where a wheel spacer would ordinarily fit. This assembly could be called the "wheel" of the system.

The "tire" of the system is, the urethane wheel itself. The "tire" has a separate, taper-cut, aluminum sleeve that is it's "core". This taper-cut sleeve is what keeps the "tire" assembly from sliding sideways off of the "wheel" assembly I described above. And, around the sleeve, is poured a very wide, black, donut-shaped urethane wheel. The wheels are about 75mm tall, and 78a duro. They have sidewall graphics not unlike those on a race car tire. Indeed, once assembled, the whole system looks almost exactly like a Formula One race car wheel/tire combo. Imagining them on any sort of longboard, I had to conclude that these might be some of the best-looking wheels ever made in the whole history of skateboarding thus far.

These little beauties aren't gonna be cheap. A set of hubs and wheels will more than likely cost about $100 a set. However: When the "tires" wear out (The "hubs" look almost entirely indestructible), replacement "tires" are a very reasonable $40 or so. That, is not too bad. That, I could easily live with. Because, they are [again] the most striking wheels I have ever seen- visually. If they roll well, grip well, perform well, and hold up well.......... I'll be testing these, soon enough........ then, these might just end up being the Buy Of The Show, right here.

Saturday: The Wrap Up.

Saturday was The Last Day, The Clock-Out-Early Day, and the Take A Load Off Day. The show closed at 4 pm on Saturday. And, luckily for Chris Chaput, he made it down just in time to get almost nothing done at all.He wasn't alone, either. A lot of The Cool Crowd shows up just in time to watch the Pack-Up, and the Race To The Pubs. Maybe these guys are the smart ones. They show up just in time for the best part of the whole thing...!

Per "The Usual", a whole bunch of guys met up for a little excursion to The Fields, a very nice, authentic Irish restaurant and pub, just up the street from the Convention Center. It was Richy, Maria, and Rene Carrasco; EBasil; Mr. Chaput; Mr. Brooke; and quite a few others that I either didn't know, or, can't recall right at the moment. Because, Chappy really has a way of tying up your attention, twisting your brains into a knot, and making you laugh your ass off, all at the same time. I'm not sure just yet if he's the Cool Club "nerd", or the Cool Club "comedian".... but, either way, he is a frickin' gas..........!!! If you've never had a chance to have dinner with the guy, well, that’s truly and sincerely your loss.

Maybe.................................