telemarketer fun!!!!!

**hckykid6699** · 10-11-2007 10:09 PM

ok the phone has been ring off the hook with telemarketters. so just a couple minutes ago i answered one.

T= telemarketer
M= ME

T: hello, is mister coal-ker (real way is spelled "koelker" and the O is silent) there?
M: uh who is this
T: this is bla bla bla from some charity
M: well in case you havent heard mister koelker has been murdered today, three bulletshots to the head.
T: oh my god im so sorry
M: yes and this is the sherriff. we have a few questions for you
T: ok
M: what is your relations with Mr. koelker?
T: i dont know them im just wanting to thank them for sending to our charity.
M: ok. where are you right know?
T: uh we are in michagan. i realy dont know that person this is my job.
M: from this point you are a suspect. Why did you leave washington and head straight for michagan
T: uh ive been in michagan for the past week
M: ok ok. this is the last one, Mr. koelker was flamingly gay we would like to know if you were mr. koelkers gay lover?
T: excuse me?
M: are you or are you not mr. koelkers gay lover?!
T: *click
M: hello?.... heeellllllooooo?????

haha that has been my best one so far.
any from u guys is totaly welcome!

p.s. im not realy gay i just wanted to add that.

**VulgarDisplayCFH** · 10-11-2007 10:11 PM

That's pretty good, gotta give it to you.

**faceless.13** · 10-11-2007 11:08 PM

and just what exactly would you be giving him Vulgar?

Ahem. Haven't gotten any calls from telemarketers in a long time, I shall definatly have some fun next time one does though.

**bombhills114** · 10-11-2007 11:10 PM

i remember coming across a webpage awhile back where ppl post their funny telemarketer conversations... it was like 200 pages long

**hckykid6699** · 10-12-2007 12:16 AM

haha pretty cool but i need some of your own storrys. i love telemarketers. now i get excited when they call

**Basch** · 10-12-2007 12:33 AM

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/1869...pam_prank.html

**gordo6987** · 10-12-2007 12:49 AM

when i was 9 i answered the phone and it was a telemarketer i went to get my dad and he told me to tell them that he was 'getting head at the moment and would appreciate it if you could F##K off'

**Rarrazz** · 10-12-2007 01:18 AM

I don't really get telemarketer calls, but here's what I can add:

My friend one time had a door to door salesmen come to his house and ask to sell him a vacuum.. He told the guy his mom was in the hospital with cancer, and they couldn't afford to buy a vacuum because of all the doctor bills, the guy said "Oh, I'm so sorry" and left.. The guy came back a week later and asked "Is she out of the hospital yet.. I still have a vacuum for sale".. Lol, those people are relentless..

And there were two dialogues that were kinda funny from seinfeld..

Telemarketer: Hi. Would you be interested in switching over to TMI Long Distance service?
Jerry: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
Telemarketer: Uh, sorry, we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
Telemarketer: No.
Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.
[hangs up]

Another one where he says something like:
Hi, would you be interested in a subscription to the New York Times?
Jerry: Yes
[hangs up]

**samhell** · 10-12-2007 04:26 AM

I highly recommend you go do telemaketing for a week..
You'll never forget it it.. Everybody should have to be a
telemarketer for a week or 2..It sucks really bad..
I have no mercy now, yet I'm a humanitarian,
and it's really hard for me to be mean to someone
who's just trying to pay the rent..
Telemarketing is one of the worst jobs I've ever had...
But it beat begging on the street for food...

**bombsies** · 10-12-2007 04:28 AM

Plagiarism is serious business... http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

**Mooch** · 10-12-2007 06:53 AM

Originally Posted by bombsies

Plagiarism is serious business... http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

oh #### called out hockykid hahaha

**nbhcdownhill** · 10-12-2007 07:07 AM

It's fun to mess with them, I do it occasionaly but usulaly I just hang up on them. " Hi is Mister Boundii (Bondy) there?" ....click.

**Hamkins** · 10-12-2007 10:58 AM

Yeah i was gonna say about the plagarism thing...plus I don't think any telemarketer would buy it. I wouldn't, and didn't numerous times when I did it over the summer. Got a good story from the other side though; I call this woman, and she gets a bit angry, but not really, and tries a really bad attempt at the classic Seinfeld routine.

Her: How about you give me your phone number and then I'll call you while you're having your dinner?

Me: Yeah ok my number is... (Planning to say back '1-800-kiss my ass' or something, but then realising my calls are all recorded, decided against it) Actually I don't think that'd be a very good idea would it, I'll leave you be.

Her: No its ok i'd love to donate to your charity

Confusing...

You get some cool names popping up on your system too. My best was a Mr.T.Nugent (Unfortunately not related) hehe.

Some people you call are just the nicest people ever, i spoke to one guy who had just been knighted for sending lots of computers to peruvian children or something for like 45 minutes, and some people are total twunts, hanging up as soon as you say hi to them. I didn't hate it that much to be honest, it was fun, easy work and the other people in the office were all pretty sound.

P.S. If you just level with the person, calm and collected, and ask them very politely to remove your name from whatever list youre unfortunately on, all they have to do is tick a box, and you will never get another marketing call ever again, from that list at least.

Be rude to em and they can sign you up for life suckers!

Also, please be nice even if youre not interested... The person has to sit through hundreds of rude-ass people a day, makes it much more bearable to just politely decline. It's just common courtesy!

**tork** · 10-12-2007 12:43 PM

Originally Posted by bombsies

Plagiarism is serious business... http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

OHHH SNAP!!!! HAHAHAHAHA, that made me laugh even harder than the phone conversation!

**boarderaholic** · 10-12-2007 02:38 PM

It's hard to be nice to telemarketers when you get 5 or 6 calls in a row though...so aggravating to listen to the phone ring off the hook none stop, especially in the middle of a study sesh.

**Hamkins** · 10-13-2007 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by boarderaholic

It's hard to be nice to telemarketers when you get 5 or 6 calls in a row though...so aggravating to listen to the phone ring off the hook none stop, especially in the middle of a study sesh.

Then next time you're filling out a form that involves your phone number, tick the little box saying "Please don't friggin call me"

**sprinkle** · 10-13-2007 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by samhell

I highly recommend you go do telemaketing for a week..
You'll never forget it it.. Everybody should have to be a
telemarketer for a week or 2..It sucks really bad..
I have no mercy now, yet I'm a humanitarian,
and it's really hard for me to be mean to someone
who's just trying to pay the rent..
Telemarketing is one of the worst jobs I've ever had...
But it beat begging on the street for food...

i completely agree. I worked as a student caller at virginia tech, basically begging for money from parents and alumni. It sucked.

**lexx** · 10-14-2007 06:34 AM

Originally Posted by sprinkle

i completely agree. I worked as a student caller at virginia tech, basically begging for money from parents and alumni. It sucked.

I hated telemarketing. I used to sell windows, or rather that was my job but I don't think I ever sold any.
You've got to pay the rent some how though.

**melifont monk** · 10-14-2007 09:35 AM

sorry, but i was an electrician, we had people going off at us occasionally etc...when i delievered pizza's, again...you get flak....when i was working as a car detailer and quasi sales in a car dealership...again, more flak....

i can safely say that if YOU take that job YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. Don't cry about it.