Day-Off Excuses

[Steez Police]

I got to work today and had an incredibly strong urge to be anywhere else. I also don't care about the job too much because I start a new, better paying job on monday and I've only worked this one for two weeks. I left a note on the white board about an hour after I clocked in and took off-

GUYS - I #### MY PANTS
HAD TO GO HOME
-NICK

Now everybody post the best excuses they have for getting out of work for a day! Slackers unite! I mean... loosely convene!

[a_speck_of_dust]

my god son broke his arm and i had to wait with him at the hospital because his parents arent back from vegas +

theres some mexicans doing some work on my house and i dont want them to take anything -

im not feeling good (and i - have diherra - have a really bad foot sore - i dont want to ####### work at this place anymore) + or -

my car was stolen +

my girlfriend stole my car -

my mom isnt feeling too well so i need to take care of her +

i had a bad dream -

+ = good chance of working
- = hope it turns out to be a +
+ or - = hell, could be either one of them

[User Name:]

haha that's damn clever. I used to be a telemarketer which is probably the worst job ever and my friend and I would make up anything to get out of work. We shared rides so one week my friends car would be getting worked on and the next mine would be. After a couple weeks of this we got fired though but it didn't ####### matter anyways. I also worked as a christmas tree trimmer with another buddy of mine and I'd routinely not show up because I was too hungover or still passed out to make it. They actually put up with my no shows it was ridiculous. Hahaha the best excuse is no excuse at all

[righteous_jams]

I've used the poop one before. I called in one day I didn't wanna work here's the conversation:

"Hey Brad, I'm not feeling too good today. I came home from school early today and I've been back and forth from my bed to the bathroom all day. I have a horrible case of diarrhea that doesn't seem to be letting up. I don't know if I should should come in today."

-Long pause-

"Ummm, yeah, I think you should probably stay at home today."

It was excellent.

[stringtheory]

Can't come in. Have a raging case of crabs. Must go to doctor. It buuuuuuuuuuurns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Basch]

say to your boss you banged his doughter

[Poseur Pete]

I read the thread title and my instant reaction was "Explosive Diarrhea," but that seems to basically have been covered. I wish I could remember which comic I heard say this so as to give proper credit, but it goes something like:

"I can't come in to work today. I'm sick."
"You don't sound sick."
"Well, I just ####ed my sister, is that sick enough for you?"

[Basch]

Category:Unofficial observances - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Lists of holidays - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Category:Religious holidays - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

pick one :P

[supergildo]

the "im pissed off and going to fawking murder ________ today if I go into work" usually give me some slack...

[R]

Call in dead, you'll usually get no response and get a bouquet of flowers sent to your house for some reason.

[destroyerofpottery]

food poisoning. In reality, it makes you super barfy sick for about a day or so, then you are fine.

[Merc]

Food poisoning and chronic diarrhea always seem to be winners...

[Vinny Bags]

the waves are pumping so.....

[Steez Police]

the waves are pumping so.....

hahaha hell yeah!

[roflsore]

"can't come in to work today, I'm working at my other job."

"can't come in today, I just got raped."

or call in a bomb threat and don't show up.

[Benedict68]

I was working for at Boston Market for a while and I used the Food Poisoning excuse. It scared the #### out of the manager though, she thought that I got it from their food. Thats definetly not something a food place wants to hear from their employees, but it worked and I got off for a couple of days so it was all good.

[SgtSparkles]

###### cancer

[Vinny Bags]

went to skate be back tomorrow

[HerBDerb]

or call in a bomb threat and don't show up.

Kids always seem to do that to try to get out of finals.

[fineout]

i just tell my bosses that im hungover or that im gunna be drunk if i come in and they just say that its ok