Relationship problems... ANYTHING GOES!

[BUboarder]

ahhhhhhhhhhhh dammit guys, why's it the hard route to be the good guy? why the hell does being the doucher have to be so much easier?!

so recently i've been talking to this girl i went to hs with and hadn't seen in a few years since...fb friends of course, you know. so then randomly we started chatting like a month ago. i don't even remember why...i doubt either of us does. w/e, beside the point.

so she's been dating the same guy for 7 years now, army guy...been deployed to afghanistan twice and was then in NC for training for a long time too. he just got back home like...a few weeks ago. anyways, she and i just chat like friends almost daily, and have seen each other in person a couple times now too (lol again, yay facebook) and it's cool. but now...now she and her guy are having some serious troubles and there's some other guy in the picture who wants her real bad and she's kinda not really sure what to do...and in all of this, i'm trying to be the friend who's there to be the stable, uninvolved one, be encouraging, be straightforward with advice, etc...you know the deal.

thing is, this girl is SUPER cute/sexy and i do like her a lot, but there's no way in hell i'm about to be "that guy" and involve myself in this with her. tonight...things got a little edgy from her end as she was chatting with me while tipsy and right after a huge fight with her bf. i'm trying to prevent her from saying or doing things i know she'll regret in the interest of her own relationship--i saw my own one of 3 years go down the drain partially due to another guy--but it's in my nature to be a big flirt too and i have to try so hard to supress that. it would be SO EASY to just step in and get mine, you know? but it's a constant fight to try to remain above the fray as a friend who genuinely does care.

*sigh* ...i'm goin to sleep

[Shimotakimas]

Sounds like someones in the friend zone. Maybe this will give you hope

YouTube - Just A Nice Guy - Part 1 - Wong Fu...

There are 3 parts.

ps. The guy in the beanies my cousin and he's 1/3 of the producers =P

[OutOfLine]

once i'm married there is NO WAY IN HELL i am going to get divorced on a whim. marriage is about being a team and working thru ####. it's a lifetime commitment for a reason, and divorce, in my opinion, is not a "get out of jail free" card like so many people today think it is

Amen. It's about ******* time. WOW! props to you!
sorry bout the girl tho.... =[
how long have you known her for? because if ppl are meant to be together they wil be!

my mom and step dad dated when they were teens then my step dad went off to sea (its manditory in russia unless you want to be in the army) my mom married my biological dad... had me... and 5 years later got divorced a week after the divorce my step dad came back from sea and after 7 years of not seeing her proposed..... he moved to canada we stayed in russia and 2 years later we moved here... then they had my half brother
in other words..... who knows! you 2 might end up together in the end... don't give up man!!

[OutOfLine]

Oh no joke, if I get to be the right weight I don't have periods at all. It's pretty dope.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M SO JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG! you dont even know
guys dont even understand..... the hell we go thru lol

[OutOfLine]

I'm giving up again. Does anybody romanticize situations? It's like, when you were in 10th grade and you went to the mall and you had this weird idea in your head that something was going to happen. It may have just been me. It's kind of time to accept the fact that things aren't going to happen. Nobody is ever going to just come up and talk to me. My neutral face is not a friendly one. Smiling for no reason makes people look like psychos. People only like me when they get to know me- not straight out of stranger zone. whhaaa.

Oh and btw i was reading one of your other comments bout how you're curvy not fat not skinny... i fukinnn envy you. Ughhhh I'm average 5'3 115 pounds and i have no shape at all except for a ass which annoys me cuz jeans suck... EMBRACE THE CURVESSSS!!

Oh and i know how you feel..... I am in tenth grade... guys dont come up to me to often unless all they want is to get me drunk and get into my pants lol.... like this one time i was tanning and i swear a half naked abercombie model comes up to me starflits flirting..... pretty soon i find out he graduaded from my school.... 2 years ago. hes 20!!!! then he asked me to go to a party with him..... thank god i said know or else i would have ended up waking up the next morning god knows where lol.

yeah the whole "twilight" scenario where 2 ppl meet and fall in love all romantic and ####... never happens in real life lol

[Blix]

thank god i said know or else i would have ended up waking up the next morning god knows where lol.

Been there, done that , (no regrets)

yeah the whole "twilight" scenario where 2 ppl meet and fall in love all romantic and ####... never happens in real life lol

Actually it does happen sometimes, just don`t expect it to last for a lifetime.....
But yeah, love happens, and it`s pretty damn awesome. (See the movie "Before Sunrise)

[Khonsu]

ahhhhhhhhhhhh dammit guys, why's it the hard route to be the good guy? why the hell does being the doucher have to be so much easier?!

so recently i've been talking to this girl i went to hs with and hadn't seen in a few years since...fb friends of course, you know. so then randomly we started chatting like a month ago. i don't even remember why...i doubt either of us does. w/e, beside the point.

so she's been dating the same guy for 7 years now, army guy...been deployed to afghanistan twice and was then in NC for training for a long time too. he just got back home like...a few weeks ago. anyways, she and i just chat like friends almost daily, and have seen each other in person a couple times now too (lol again, yay facebook) and it's cool. but now...now she and her guy are having some serious troubles and there's some other guy in the picture who wants her real bad and she's kinda not really sure what to do...and in all of this, i'm trying to be the friend who's there to be the stable, uninvolved one, be encouraging, be straightforward with advice, etc...you know the deal.

thing is, this girl is SUPER cute/sexy and i do like her a lot, but there's no way in hell i'm about to be "that guy" and involve myself in this with her. tonight...things got a little edgy from her end as she was chatting with me while tipsy and right after a huge fight with her bf. i'm trying to prevent her from saying or doing things i know she'll regret in the interest of her own relationship--i saw my own one of 3 years go down the drain partially due to another guy--but it's in my nature to be a big flirt too and i have to try so hard to supress that. it would be SO EASY to just step in and get mine, you know? but it's a constant fight to try to remain above the fray as a friend who genuinely does care.

*sigh* ...i'm goin to sleep

First off apparently she has already singled you out sir as the dude to go to about the problems in her life. So unconsciously she is attracted to you in a certain way or otherwise she would not voluntarily go to you to talk than someone else. Now on a more sane note for yourself this dude she is dating is in the Army and has been serving for a long ass time over seas. I will tell you right now your outgunned in any match you can think of trying to pin yourself against this guy to be with this girl. I personally think what you have going on now is the smart move because if you stick around long enough perhaps she will realize Army dude is not for her. OR she will be sick of being exclusive with someone who has made the Army their career and are never around when she wants someone. (Which might also be why she started talking to you again because your an old norm she can rely on for the emotional experiences Army boy isn't around for) So good luck with what you do but I would not fight for her against someone trained to kill people.

[OutOfLine]

Been there, done that , (no regrets)

Lol.... well.................................. i have too... but things are differnt when you're a girl lets just put it that way

[Jerrdan]

Oh and btw i was reading one of your other comments bout how you're curvy not fat not skinny... i fukinnn envy you. Ughhhh I'm average 5'3 115 pounds and i have no shape at all except for a ass which annoys me cuz jeans suck... EMBRACE THE CURVESSSS!!

yeah the whole "twilight" scenario where 2 ppl meet and fall in love all romantic and ####... never happens in real life lol

Oh and btw i was reading one of your other comments bout how you're curvy not fat not skinny... i fukinnn envy you. Ughhhh I'm average 5'3 115 pounds and i have no shape at all except for a ass which annoys me cuz jeans suck... EMBRACE THE CURVESSSS!!

yeah the whole "twilight" scenario where 2 ppl meet and fall in love all romantic and ####... never happens in real life lol

Jeans DO suck. Worst shopping ever. I can shirt shop all day long, but jeans suck. With a butt it's really hard to find jeans that fit the butt without having the waist being too big and having that gap in the back.
I refuse to watch Twilight for exactly that reason. That, and it looks pretty barf-worthy.

ANYWHO. I haven't been single in four years. FOUR YEARS. I'm 18. How insane is that? Two two-year relationships and I just had to get used to flying solo again. No co-pilot. But I still give up.

BUboarder, are you one of those people that walk around with a permanent smiles? That's how I see you. Also, you're wearing bell-bottoms. In my head. Were you a boy scout?

[OutOfLine]

Jeans DO suck. Worst shopping ever. I can shirt shop all day long, but jeans suck. With a butt it's really hard to find jeans that fit the butt without having the waist being too big and having that gap in the back.
I refuse to watch Twilight for exactly that reason. That, and it looks pretty barf-worthy.

ANYWHO. I haven't been single in four years. FOUR YEARS. I'm 18. How insane is that? Two two-year relationships and I just had to get used to flying solo again. No co-pilot. But I still give up.

BUboarder, are you one of those people that walk around with a permanent smiles? That's how I see you. Also, you're wearing bell-bottoms. In my head. Were you a boy scout?

Really??? My problem is cuz i have no hips but an ass and super fit/skinny legs... but not too much of a waist... jeans might fit everywhere BUT they will be to tight in the stomach area and cause major muffin top..... the only jeans that fit me perfectly are guess jeans so the only jeans i buy are like 200$ each.... fml!

Haha really?????? See i've never had a 'real' relationship more so... just hooking up... but theres this one guy right now and we are like super close friends and we both have sooooooo much in common but my best friend (shes practically my sister) flirts with him without relizing it... and he flirts with the both of us. She claims shes not into him but i dunno.... its just STUPID!!

Every time i get into a relationship i lawyas manage to find a way to #### it up lol... watevs.

I watched twilight in theatres.... i got kicked out cuz i was laughing to hard and LGs started telling me to shut the #### up... it was sooooooo godamn funny!

[Delta]

i didn't see twilight because i am phenomenally aroused by vampires and didn't want to be arrested for public masturbation.

At home i'd be worried someone would walk in on me (and then call me gay)

and i can't read the books because i'd ruin the pages with a combination of sweat, saliva, and semen.




oh woe is me.

[pepperdro]

...this dude she is dating is in the Army and has been serving for a long ass time over seas. I will tell you right now your outgunned in any match you can think of trying to pin yourself against this guy to be with this girl. ...

So good luck with what you do but I would not fight for her against someone trained to kill people.

ok I am conflicted about these statements here, and I will explain...

I have been in the Air Force for 5 1/2 years. surrounded by military (Air Force, Army, Marines, Navy) so between my own deployments to the middle east, and everyone elses, I have seen how a LOT of these relationships have played out.
BUboarder, you aren't outgunned. 9 times out of 10, the Army guy that's dating her, is going to come back different than before, because lets face it, the stuff that we have to do out there isn't the normal life here in America. That being said, I have seen plenty of civilians scoop up a military guys girlfriend while they are deployed, because of multiple reasons. Besides, how do you know that this guy is even really invested in your girl? for all you know he has 3 other chicks on standby for when he gets home (again, I have seen it, lived it, and had it happen to me) All I am saying, is don't give up just because of his job.

The second line I quoted just made me laugh out loud...yes, I spelled it out, that's how funny I found it. Just because he is in the Army, it doesn't make him a trained killer, or a bad ass. I have seen plenty of Army guys that are just huge dorks that wanted to get out of their parents basements, but they still sit in their barracks playing W.O.W. masterbating to suicidegirls.com... actually... that goes for all branches of the military. I know for a fact, if someone wanted to fight me, my "military training" wouldn't do #### other than help me run away, or find a big heavy object to beat them with... I don't know 100 ways to kill a man with a spoon, or know of a spot that causes instant death by bowel release (still haven't perfected it, at least). The military teaches us our JOB and a few things to help us survive when we go to the desert....

[BUboarder]

Sounds like someones in the friend zone...

yeah, probably, but that's where i need to be right now, for more than one reason...a couple of which i'll get into in a sec

Amen. It's about ******* time. WOW! props to you!
sorry bout the girl tho.... =[
how long have you known her for? because if ppl are meant to be together they will be!!

thanks
and i'm certainly sorry too. the story continues to develop as we grow apart... counting until the end of our relationship in december, we'd known one another for 6 years, and dated for the last 3+ of those. we'll see where the future finds each of us. God only knows...

First off.......

yeah...i tend to be that guy for a lot of my friends, female and male. i honor the act of confiding in me--i guarantee i will go to the grave with things people have told me, and i care enough to just sit and listen. so shimo, i guess that i am in the friend zone. but people need that, you know? i was "the friend" with my gf before we started dating, and it lead to 3 awesome years together.
anyhow, khonsu, yeah...i have no intentions of "going for" my army friend's girl. i went to hs with him too, and he's a good guy--i have a lot of respect for him. i'm not gonna meddle in their relationship, and i really hope that things work out for them. i don't know what exactly is going on with them, what their problems are or w/e, but i'm not gonna pry. it's their deal, not mine. and yes, i'd definitely be outgunned physically i'm not gonna be a douche and actually try to step in and take someone's gf away anyways, so i don't have to worry about that. that's what this other friend of hers is for--he sounds like a total asshole the way she describes him and his actions. it's highly likely he and the bf will get in a fight. and maybe she's attracted to me, maybe not. i'm gonna do my best to not find that out while she's still in a relationship.

-Jeans.....
-ANYWHO.....
-BUboarder, are you one of those people that walk around with a permanent smiles? That's how I see you. Also, you're wearing bell-bottoms. In my head. Were you a boy scout?

-Jeans shopping is a bia. doesn't help that i'm picky
-maybe it's time you were single...learn to find your identity in yourself again. learn to be self-reliant. learn to be comfortable and content with not being in a relationship.
-eh...sometimes? i don't know. i don't try to be. i'd much rather be real with people than put on a show. if i'm having a shitty day, i'm not gonna project that onto others and make their day bad, but if they ask, i'll be honest.
i've put on my share of masks too, because sometimes you just need to protect your heart, you know? they serve their purpose, but when used for more than just a little while, they're dangerous.
i'm wearing bell-bottoms in your head? as in...you saw that pic, and that's your image of me?! haha i don't think i've actually worn them since. and i was a cub scout, but quit after that. i am nowhere near that...idk. scoutish? haha
EDIT: wow this thread exploded while i wrote this novel...
additionally, i saw twilight. with a girl who'd seen it 18 times before that. i made fun of it the whole way through

[Jerrdan]

All the boyscouts I know are just generally nice guys...do the right things, smile a lot and stuff. It was a weird question that even I can't remember the reasoning behind it. Bell bottoms. Now I feel like a tool and M goingto keep of the threads for at least a day. Goo luck with the girl. Nice guys creep a lot of girls out.

[BUboarder]

All the boyscouts I know are just generally nice guys...do the right things, smile a lot and stuff. It was a weird question that even I can't remember the reasoning behind it. Bell bottoms. Now I feel like a tool and M goingto keep of the threads for at least a day. Goo luck with the girl. Nice guys creep a lot of girls out.

uhhh...

?????

also, i don't want good luck. i want to not mess things up for her. not get involved. i don't want to press the issue, make something of it. i'm just...i don't even know. i don't want to force something that shouldn't be forced. nothing good comes from rushing into things

[Khonsu]

uhhh...

?????

also, i don't want good luck. i want to not mess things up for her. not get involved. i don't want to press the issue, make something of it. i'm just...i don't even know. i don't want to force something that shouldn't be forced. nothing good comes from rushing into things

Go do something different to keep your mind off it like longboarding? ;p

[Archy]

Been there, done that , (no regrets)



Actually it does happen sometimes, just don`t expect it to last for a lifetime.....
But yeah, love happens, and it`s pretty damn awesome. (See the movie "Before Sunrise)

Now we're gonna have to extend the "Listen to Blix" meme into relationship advice.

BUb: Such a class act.
Pepper: You too.
Jay: Pics or it didn't happen.

[Jerrdan]

uhhh...

?????

also, i don't want good luck. i want to not mess things up for her. not get involved. i don't want to press the issue, make something of it. i'm just...i don't even know. i don't want to force something that shouldn't be forced. nothing good comes from rushing into things

It's not a luck thing, I didn't mean that. I meant that I hope things work out and the end result is favorable. I have been in an genuinely nice guy/douche bag situation. We usually always go the other way, and then you go back to the nice guy after the douche did his thing and you realize that the guy's a douche. It's hardwired for girls to be stupid.

[Archy]

It's hardwired for girls to respond to force, power, control--anything that can be translated into: "this guy is gonna knock me up then go out and kill a mastodon and bring its heart back to feed our babies." Nothing to be ashamed of there. The stupid part is confusing false douche confidence with real man confidence.

No, I haven't seen "Year One" yet. But cavemen ftw.

[ACIDAARON]

What sucks is that a lot of nice guys get ####ed over so hard, so many times, that they themselves start becoming a douche bag. There are exceptions though.