Relationship problems... ANYTHING GOES!

[Hairpin]

nah hes not my friend... hes one of my friends older brothers (by a year) and i kinda talked to her about it... anyways, life is life, ill just let what happens happen.... but i do hope it goes my way... i need a grad date... :P

[d-dub]

nah hes not my friend... hes one of my friends older brothers (by a year) and i kinda talked to her about it... anyways, life is life, ill just let what happens happen.... but i do hope it goes my way... i need a grad date... :P

dont do that. if you want something, MAKE IT HAPPEN! seriously, dont sit back and wait for things to come to you. if anything, you go after something and you fail. no biggie. just go after something else or just try harder for that same thing. persistence and determination my friend. works especially well on women too . dont know why but it does. even with your situation though, even just as a friend and even if you werent attracted to this chick, i would still try and help her out of a bad relationship like that. trust me and really consider this advice. im older than you and have been there. you dont want to regret not going after that one chick down the road. i missed that opportunity once, but grew up and now that one chick is the one i took out the other night

[whatsisname6]

[AdmiralButterCrust]

[Largeboarder]

Man, there was this lady on FB and she came talking about my profile picture. So we went talking and she started to ask some nonsense things about how to make emoticons on chat so I had to break that Ice and hit on her.

Well, she's actually THAT naive, married and with two children. I did LOL a lot man.

[Hairpin]

dont do that. if you want something, MAKE IT HAPPEN! seriously, dont sit back and wait for things to come to you. if anything, you go after something and you fail. no biggie. just go after something else or just try harder for that same thing. persistence and determination my friend. works especially well on women too . dont know why but it does. even with your situation though, even just as a friend and even if you werent attracted to this chick, i would still try and help her out of a bad relationship like that. trust me and really consider this advice. im older than you and have been there. you dont want to regret not going after that one chick down the road. i missed that opportunity once, but grew up and now that one chick is the one i took out the other night

well thats not exactly what i ment, what i was meaning is that ill still do all the stuff i said b4 and try to get her to leave him, but at the same time, if she dosent wanna go out with me, well than im not gonna force her, id rather have her as a good friend, over then not talk to her at all. and nice pics guys!

[Elmike]

Didnt know this thread existed so made my own thread. Just copying and pasting in here. If mods would like they can close other thread. Hopefully people still reply here lol.

I was listen to the local talk radio today, JRR. It was ladies day and they were having a bunch of ladies call in, which most of them happen to be "sluts" since a lot of the questions revolved around sleeping around and how they are viewed lol, they were honestly concerned.

One girl, a slut, called asking about how guys percieve her. She said due to things she did she was concidered a slut and guys would leave. When she told them what she wanted to do sexually, they would think she is a whore etc and be turned off. The host told her, to NOT ask him to do it etc.

They said openly "sex should be based on lies" or something to the effect. So instead of telling him "hey I wanna do this position" say something like "I never tried it but would like to" (a lie considering she has done everything under the sun). The radio host said guys like to think that the girl hasnt been with others and they are the ones that "pulled the trigger"...hmmm what guys he talking about?

I personally dont like lying to myself. What about you guys?

If I know the girl has been around and I'm just another lay, I aint gonna be thinking I'm so special. Which they actually mentioned on the show. That guys like to feel special, which is true, who doenst like feeling special, but NOT at the expense of truth and honesty IMO.

________

I'm just looking for your guyses opinion on this topic. Is it ok to lie? If lying is needed, should they not just break up and find someone they are sexually compatible with? (some believe lying should NEVER be a option)

They also said on the show that if a guy ask how many guys the girl has been with, she should not even answer. Your feelings? Would you marry/LTR a girl who would keep secret of whether or not she is slut from you? For all you know half the town has been in your little prescious pearl.

I'll stop there, and add as I see fit.

[Archy]

Don't lie.

Don't be so selfish that you make someone else have to lie (about their sexual world or anything).

Get over the idea that anyone is pure. Or a "slut." You want a girl who has been around some so when she's with you you know she knows she wants to be. No? Or if you want something else, find it and don't label and judge along the way. Mostly I think people should let people live this most important part of their lives exactly how they want and need to or else they should get tf out of the way.

If you want to live it this way, with all the hating and lying, go forth and prosper. If not, open yer precious perl of a mind and let Dan Savage jam some of his wisdom in there. Every week.

[pepperdro]

Elmike: Well, The way I see it, women are just as sexually adventurous as men are, yet our society just doesn't associate them in the same terms. If a guy sleeps with a bunch of women, he's considered a "pimp" or a "ladies man". If a woman sleeps with a lot of guys, or likes trying new things in bed, she's considered a "slut" or a "whore". I disagree with this. Who am I to judge a woman for the things she has done sexually in her past. I look back at some of the stuff I have done and realize that there are a lot of people in the world that would consider me a slut. My philosophy is I ask you to be honest about the important things. Do you have a disease? Do you have a husband, or a boyfriend, or kids? medical information and relationships is about the only thing I care about. I don't really care how many people you have slept with before me, so long as you are clean and STD Free. I believe the word slut gets thrown around to loosely in regards to women that have a sexual past. men should learn to grow up, get over it, and choose their sexual partners on what interests them, not what number guy he is to get in those guts.

/personal opinion.

[Archy]

What dro said is the difference between letting yourself be ruled by the ancient stigmas of our puritan past or editing out some of the inherited stupidity of the ages and evolving into wiser creatures.

People, as a whole, planet-wide, are just not done growing up.

[pepperdro]

What dro said is the difference between letting yourself be ruled by the ancient stigmas of our puritan past or editing out some of the inherited stupidity of the ages and evolving into wiser creatures.

People, as a whole, planet-wide, are just not done growing up.

I must spread more reputation around before giving it to Archy Again.

Well spoken!

[enemy combatant]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22BJqPLzdmk

[Elmike]

Don't lie.

Don't be so selfish that you make someone else have to lie (about their sexual world or anything).

Get over the idea that anyone is pure. Or a "slut." You want a girl who has been around some so when she's with you you know she knows she wants to be. No? Or if you want something else, find it and don't label and judge along the way. Mostly I think people should let people live this most important part of their lives exactly how they want and need to or else they should get tf out of the way.

If you want to live it this way, with all the hating and lying, go forth and prosper. If not, open yer precious perl of a mind and let Dan Savage jam some of his wisdom in there. Every week.

So our saying its the guys fault for not being experienced? Then the girl has to lie to make him not feel like a noob? And I dont want to live with lying, aint my fault if my girl has to lie. I have done some not some great things and I dont lie about them. Cause I know I need to be held accountable for whatever I do.

My original thread was more for general discussion, not necessaraly for my own personal relationship. eVen though some of it applys.

I differ from you I guess. I believe people should be held accountable for their actions. If people were not, then we would be in bad shape, with people raping people doing wht they want, stds everywhere...even though we are getting there (widespread stds) as we become more and more carefree and not held accountable for our actions. more accidental pregnancies too.

Elmike: Well, The way I see it, women are just as sexually adventurous as men are, yet our society just doesn't associate them in the same terms. If a guy sleeps with a bunch of women, he's considered a "pimp" or a "ladies man". If a woman sleeps with a lot of guys, or likes trying new things in bed, she's considered a "slut" or a "whore". I disagree with this. Who am I to judge a woman for the things she has done sexually in her past. I look back at some of the stuff I have done and realize that there are a lot of people in the world that would consider me a slut. My philosophy is I ask you to be honest about the important things. Do you have a disease? Do you have a husband, or a boyfriend, or kids? medical information and relationships is about the only thing I care about. I don't really care how many people you have slept with before me, so long as you are clean and STD Free. I believe the word slut gets thrown around to loosely in regards to women that have a sexual past. men should learn to grow up, get over it, and choose their sexual partners on what interests them, not what number guy he is to get in those guts.

/personal opinion.

I understand and agree (to an extent). But if the girl your with is bored with you...then you might care how many guys she has been with.

IMO. Being selfish would be not considering her past and thinking your the only one and then not pleasing her because the guys before did a lot better job. Get me?

So if your with a experienceed girl, then being caring is knowing everything she has done so you can learn to provide.

Its also IMO selfish on that girls part to get with a guy who is less experienced. Since now he will have to suffer due to her past, and she will get to prosper from his inexperience aka lack of stds and girls in his past to make her worry about.

in your case, since you have been around, you arent anyone to judge her. but if you kept yourself to an extent and werent a whore ####### everything with a heartbeat. maybe you would have some platform to stand on.

also if you go to marry a girl, it might also be different. you might care that your wife is not respectable because she has ####ed a lot of the guys around town. everyone sees her as a slut..but if you dont want a respetable wife it might not matter.

then we have to talk about "respect" and sexual behavoir, since that gets into the stigma thing. maybe just cause a girl hs been around doesnt mean she loses respect? i know a fewws guys who dont really get respect since they have been around..so its not a double standard...even though women are said to lose respect faster.

this is a long..long topic. i need to go to class lol.

I made my original thread as more of a discussion, and not really a "fix my relationship" thing. its more on a universal level.

What dro said is the difference between letting yourself be ruled by the ancient stigmas of our puritan past or editing out some of the inherited stupidity of the ages and evolving into wiser creatures.

People, as a whole, planet-wide, are just not done growing up.

Well this issue is more about lying in a relatinship. than sluts and whores (ancient stigmas).

Simply put. The girl is a level 10 sex queen. Guy is a 2. She lies and tells him he is good etc, and or lies to make it seem like she hasnt done everything with half the town.

IMO its not the guys fault that she had to go #### half the town. So if she is bored with him in bed, its her fault. Not his.

She should have got with a guy who is experience like her, or just keep doing what she is doing till she finds a guy on her level. Or get a inexperienced guy who is a dumbass and thinks she actually gets off to him. even though in some cases, just cause a guy is new dont mean he sucks. but those are few.

[pepperdro]

Don't worry about the fix the relationship part of this thread, I understand that this was meant as a discussion, and I like the topic, so I will counter your post bit by bit. (I like to debate, lol)

So our saying its the guys fault for not being experienced? Then the girl has to lie to make him not feel like a noob? And I dont want to live with lying, aint my fault if my girl has to lie. I have done some not some great things and I dont lie about them. Cause I know I need to be held accountable for whatever I do.

I don't believe a woman should ever have to lie about their sexual past, I just believe that it shouldn't matter. I know what you mean about guys being inexperienced and not being able to satisfy the woman, but IMO a guy should have the fortitude to understand that he needs to work and adapt to whatever woman he is trying to please. she should feel comfortable enough to say, "I like this" and a man should feel secure enough to say"I'll try it, or no way!"

I differ from you I guess. I believe people should be held accountable for their actions. If people were not, then we would be in bad shape, with people raping people doing wht they want, stds everywhere...even though we are getting there (widespread stds) as we become more and more carefree and not held accountable for our actions. more accidental pregnancies too.

I believe that everyone should be held accountable for their actions, however I don't believe that people should be scorned or judged on certain actions, especially by hypocrites (not refering to you, just in the general population) I don't call a woman a slut because she likes to have sex and is willing to get it, I believe a slut would be defined, IMO, as someone who has sex regardless of how it effects those around them. For instance,let's use a man as an example, just for variety. A man has a girlfriend, he sleeps with her, then sleeps with her friends, sister, mother, whatever. they break up, he continues to go through her friends and family, creating an emotional hardship on the woman. He has no regard for people around him, so long as he gets his in the end. the same could be said for a woman.

I understand and agree (to an extent). But if the girl your with is bored with you...then you might care how many guys she has been with.

her being bored isn't going to effect how I feel about her past, unless she cheats on me. Then I will be concerned about my future and if I am smart in maintaining that relationship.

IMO. Being selfish would be not considering her past and thinking your the only one and then not pleasing her because the guys before did a lot better job. Get me?
So if your with a experienceed girl, then being caring is knowing everything she has done so you can learn to provide.
Its also IMO selfish on that girls part to get with a guy who is less experienced. Since now he will have to suffer due to her past, and she will get to prosper from his inexperience aka lack of stds and girls in his past to make her worry about.

I disagree with this, only because other guys have no bearing when you are one on one with her. If you suck, most women don't sit there and compare how much you suck as opposed to someone else they screwed, they just thing you suck. A guy with less experience won't necessarily suffer from a woman more experienced, as long as he is willing to learn from it. it's all about how you percieve life and the opportunities that come around

in your case, since you have been around, you arent anyone to judge her. but if you kept yourself to an extent and werent a whore ####### everything with a heartbeat. maybe you would have some platform to stand on.

also if you go to marry a girl, it might also be different. you might care that your wife is not respectable because she has ####ed a lot of the guys around town. everyone sees her as a slut..but if you dont want a respetable wife it might not matter.

I am going to assume that this all came out really really wrong, so I won't start flaming you for an accusation just yet. I am far from a whore screwing anything with a heartbeat, but that has no bearing in how I feel. I felt this way when I was graduating with my high school sweetheart. we dated for 3 years before having sex, waited another year before we got married, and another 5 years before our divorce, so I would say that I have a lot of experience in this matter.

For the rest of your post I say this:

Everyone should be more honest in life. Not just sexually, but in every aspect of their life. This world gets turned around and beat up because people feel the need to lie about stupid things. It's better to be red in the face for 3 minutes, and tell the truth, regardless of feelings, rather than have to suffer for a lifetime for something you should have said in the past. People in the world also need to come to their senses and realize not everything said is a personal attack. If they did that, we would be living in a much happier and simpler place. But I won't hold my breath on that happening anytime soon. sorry... this is really long

[DHBM]

i knew a slut that could fit a basket ball in her whoopty do

[Elmike]

I didnt mean YOU where screwing everything with a heartbeat. Just wanted to clear that up for now. I'm in class and cant give good response atm, but in a bit I'll respond bit by bit. I dont know you to say YOU personally have ####ed everything with a heartbeat. Thus I was NOT referring to you.

[pepperdro]

I didnt mean YOU where screwing everything with a heartbeat. Just wanted to clear that up for now. I'm in class and cant give good response atm, but in a bit I'll respond bit by bit. I dont know you to say YOU personally have ####ed everything with a heartbeat. Thus I was NOT referring to you.

No worries, that's why I said I would make sure before I got all Butt hurt, lol. Thanks for the clear up, though!

[DHBM]

No worries, that's why I said I would make sure before I got all Butt hurt, lol. Thanks for the clear up, though!

i got butt hurt for you and regged him to red

[pepperdro]

i got butt hurt for you and regged him to red

Damn, my 22 doesn't really counter your -98 whatever amount of rep points you have! haha

[Archy]

huh wut guyz girlz

I have no idea what you're talking about. And you have no idea what I'm talking about. Fair enough. Only difference is that what I am saying is crystal clear. And I have no idea wtf you're trying to say.

Glad p-dro's taken over. You're in good hands (he totally gets all the Palin girls off on the nightly up there in Alaska. Cheaper than buying mittens.)

i got butt hurt for you and regged him to red

I was gonna get butt hurt for me (you think I read pepper's post?) but then I remembered.

YouTube - "This is my gift, My curse."