Music Jokes

[drummer pig]

Post all musician jokes in here. Some of them are pretty funny.

How do you know when the stage is level?
When drool comes out of both sides of the drummers mouth.

What do bassists use for birth control?
Their personalities.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
To get away from the noise.

What do an orgasm and a drum solo have in common?
You know when it's coming but you can't stop it.

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they'll just steal everyone else's light.


Post some of yours!

[msk]

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
10- 1 to change the bulb, and 9 to stand back and say "I could have done it better"

What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
Drool

What do you call a musician who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
To get away from the noise.

One of my all-time favorite cartoons had a policeman talking to a Scotsman wearing a kilt and playing his bagpipes in the park. The caption was "Sorry to bother you, but we've had some reports of a man wearing a dress torturing a bag full of kittens"

[HerBDerb]

What do you call a failed guitarist?
A bassist.

[Anton Milioti]

YouTube - Birthday Greetings from Joe Cocker

[Blackmore]

hahahaha the owwwww part made me lol

[Steez Police]

The Misfits.

Badum, tss!

[bombhills114]

what has 7 arms and sucks?
def leppard.



my friend told me what when i was wearing a def leppard t-shirt one day.. im jus tlike ok

[Shankmaster Terri Schiavo]

How do you get a rock guitarist to stop playing?
put sheet music in front of him

[Ogre]

What's the difference between a drummer and an Xtra Large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of 4

[Ogre]

hahahaha the owwwww part made me lol

Me too!!! That's hilarious

[big_loaf]

Being a drummer, I have a plethora of corny drummer jokes to share


-What do you call a drummer with half a brain?

Gifted.

-What do you call a person that hangs around with musicians?

A drummer.

-Why do bands have bass players?

To translate for the drummers.

-How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they have machines for that now.

-Did you hear about the drummer that got into college?

...Me neither...

-What's the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?

One with mature and make money...

-Two drummers walk into a bar...which is funny, because you think the second one would have seen the first guy do it.

-How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?

You can hear the knuckles dragging.


That's all I got. They're all old as hell, seems like nobody makes up new drummer jokes these days.

[drummer pig]

what has 7 arms and sucks?
def leppard.

I thought the jokes was... What has 9 arms, 10 legs and sucks? Either way, it's a good joke.

[bombhills114]

i dont know thats just what he said...

[bear]

i got a good one...kinda.


why did the drummer bash in the face of the lead guitarist with his drum sticks?
because he could.

[DELETED]

How many guitarists does it take to play "Iron Man"?

All of them, apparently

[jkpvilla]

What do you call a dead accordian player? one down, thirty thousand to go.

[riley_bombs]

sorry to revive a dead thread, but i got some.
most of these are jazz related, but still funny

what do you call a pretty lady on a trombone players arm?

a tattoo.

whats the difference between a saxiphone player and a chainsaw?

you can turn off a chainsaw.

how many rude boys does it take to drop a lightbulb?

3- 1 to drop it and 2 to say "pickitup pickitup pickitup" (youll only understand that if you listen to ska)

i think thats all i got

[Momona Boe]

what has three legs and an a$$hole?

a drum stool



why do drummers leave their sticks on the dashboard?

so they can park in handicapped spaces