Last I saw of Dixie she was onstage with SAPCO at the after party
I'm sure there must be some undergound Pam&Tommy/R Kelly video floating around.......
Anterim? Don't know if there's a porn shop near the campgrounds that has plus size dolls in stock. That's one of the benefits of the hotel at the Dixie Cup - Waffle House AND porn shop in walking/skating distance.
Oh, and the only thing slalomers spray paint are each other. Anyone remember "KNOB"?
__________________
"I knew Joe Iacovelli; Joe Iacovelli was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Joe Iacovelli."
Okay, well it looks like I have my own personal thread here to do as I see fit.That said, let my ranting begin:
So I never really could give a frog's fat ass aboot politics, but I do wanna do some dirty things with Granny VP. Does that make me a bad person? I know I've done LOTS of things in the past that would definitely make me a bad person, but I don't think this is one of them. Granted, she's a bit of a kook when it comes to her beliefs, but she's cute, has a frame I like, and can ice skate. What's hotter than a chick that can skate? And speaking of hot chicks, is there a polite way to tell a girl that those pants make her ass look amazing and she should just buy 20 pairs in different colors? And speaking of chicks, why do I like the weird looking ones? Why is every roller derby girl a super model to me? Why are scars on a gal so appetizing? And speaking of appetizing, I'd throw Paula Deen a shot. Think of the post coital snack frenzy? You KNOW she can bake the #### outta some pie! And speaking of pie - I made a coconut cream pie that was so good, married women threatened to leave their husbands! Now any of you who've met me know I ain't a looker, so that had to be some A#1 top drawer baking! I brought a crumb cake in to work one day (chocolate cake, layer of Nutella, and aboot a 1" thick crumb top) that was described as "orgasmic" by one of my co-workers, and no it wasn't one of the light-in-the-loafers "art" guys. But I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah, the VP. Eh, politics.....who cares. I know it's a violation of Silverfish dogma to talk aboot politics and while I respect the powers that be at Silverfish, I actually really don't care aboot it enough to talk aboot it. They're all fulla #### and liars, so why waste the space posting diatribes about foreign policy and the economy? I'd rather discuss something more important like bushings or which wheels are better for sliding or which Dervish should I buy or why do the cops always come when I bury mannequins late at night or what the hell DID happen to Dixie after the race or why would a clerk in a porn shop sell a plus size inflatible love doll to two 16 year old boys on skateboards with a handful of change and dollar bills or why did we bring an enema to Hobby Hill or how come none of the women's divison race in skirts - only me? And why can't I get backside 50's? I know my shoulder should stay in, but how do I judge my speed better? Oh, and speaking of speed -didja ever take like 3 antihistemines and then drink a jumbo coffee? You like almost trip! Driving after that is great - it's like you're in a big video game. And speaking of video games, why do I suck so strongly at them? I can't work that stupid playstation controller - who needs all of those buttons? I HAVE a college degree and I still can't figure it all out. I should probably just devote more time to it, but time is a luxury I don't have*. Did I mention that I played a gig last week at a place in Crooklyn that had a bait and tackle shop built in? AND they had Schaeffer on tap! But the Pakistani guy across the street wouldn't sell me a coffee, which pissed me off. It wasn't even 11pm yet and he just looked at me like I wanted his kidney - Dude, you run a Quik-E-Mart, if your door is unlocked you f-in' have coffee made!!! Does the Good Humor truck guy say, "Oh sorry, we don't have popsickles" ? Bollocks, I say. Speaking of popsickles, am I the only one that likes the blue Otter Pops? Y'know, those plastic tubes with frozen sugar water in them - I dig the blue ones. You KNOW there ain't a natural ingredient in there - not a one! I love 'em, make me feel like I'm eating Windex without that nasty aftertaste. And yes, I'm well aware of how Windex tastes - amazing what $2 will make people do. ever dip a pickle in chocolate pudding? Andrew Zimmern would shudder at that taste treat! Speaking of fat guys, can you believe that this fat bastard can go on for this long talking about almost nothing? What a complete tool I am! What's even worse is that you've read this far! I should really use paragraphs to make this easier to read. But that doesn't really fit in with my a$$hole persona, now does it? And speaking of a-hole personas, why do I wanna punch Ashlee Simpson so much? Seriously, I do dig reeeeeeally limited talent - I have LOTS of Shonen Knife, Misfits, Spice Girls, and Ramones records - but this girl takes it to a whole 'nother level! She's the SISTER of a talentless pig - why is she even ON the radar? Why am I wasting valuable bandwidth on her here? Ummmm.......let's move over to Brooke Hogan for the block. Now THAT's a trainwreck in waiting, no? Her mom is SO gonna get caught all coked out with a drunken 15 year old boy in a hotel room in Vegas or maybe Reno, that's a tad cheesier. And speaking of Vegas, I hafta go to the Interbike show there next week - anybody else going? At least I don't hafta set up a booth this year. Anybody ever exhibit at a trade show? It's like laying your junk on a marble table and then handing people hammers - it seems all nice and cool at the start, and then the throbbing pain kicks in! But I'm just helping out in another company's booth for a little while, so I'll actually get to walk the show and see some product this year. AND I get to eat in nice restaurants and expense it - sometimes it's good to be the fat guy
* line from a movie - tell me the movie and who said it and I'll send you Fatboy stickers and stuff
__________________
"I knew Joe Iacovelli; Joe Iacovelli was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Joe Iacovelli."
Last edited by Momona Boe; 09-16-2008 at 08:15 AM.
Fatboy's thread - All Aboot Cat!
that is all.
